Show Yourself Some Love and Budget!
February 13, 2023
Our high school had a tradition that you could leave gifts in the main office for friends or your crush or maybe the sibling you'd been mean to the previous day.
And then at various points during the day, someone would announce over the intercom who had things in the office. Is this still a thing?
Having an “office surprise” on your birthday or near holidays, or leaving things for others, was pretty magical. As you can imagine, Valentine’s Day was a big opportunity for such giving amongst friends and teenage crushes.
Similar traditions continue in adult life, but get a little more spendy: chocolates, flower bouquets, expensive dinners, and so on.
If you happen to be single, and sometimes even when in a relationship, you can feel like you’re no one’s priority to spoil and care for. And conversely, you don’t have that person to care for and spoil.
So what do you do if in this chapter of life you aren’t feeling like anyone’s #1 priority?
You can take amazing care of yourself. How? You budget.
I know, I know. Budgeting is not on the usual list of self-care routines, but I can’t wait to show you why it deserves a really prominent spot on the list.
Take care of you in the present
Budgeting helps you plan to take good care of you, right now. Budgeting in the way I teach honors your wants along with your needs, and that is a big shift for many of my clients.
You may be used to putting yourself last when you make your money plans, and this leads to a lot of reactive spending.
It’s been no problem to plan for your fixed expenses, but when it comes to the more optional things in life (clothes, personal enrichment, entertainment), you don’t feel like you should afford them.
So you don’t plan to spend on them, and you don’t. Until you do. Because let’s face it, we all spend on the optional things we insist we don’t.
You may not have a lot of discretionary money to spend on the fun stuff, but proactively planning for even a little bit of fun spending does wonders for your relationship with yourself. It reminds you that you a full-fledged human adult who deserves some care and attention.
But the kind of care and attention you’ve been putting on a credit card isn’t actual self-care since it leads to resentment and guilt.
Take care of you in the future
Budgeting and money management in general helps you take good care of you in the future. What does the future you want?
To have options for education, for where you live, what you do with your time and what you do for work? Travel? Help others more? To be able to retire one day?
Taking care of your money now is like the best thing you can do for that girl, so she can be that girl you hope for! In general, you take care of the things you care about and want to last. It is a privilege to care a great deal about your welfare and your future.
Take care of you in relationships
Being financially healthy improves your relationships, and helps you take care of yourself in those relationships. Stats and studies like this one from the American Institute of CPAs correlate financial stress with marital and relationship stress. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that getting on the same page would naturally reduce stress.
But taking care of your finances helps you take better care of yourself in relationships with friends and family and co-workers. Put simply, when you know that you can afford to take care of yourself, you don’t put as much pressure on others to do that.
You spend in alignment with your values and not the priorities and values of others. It keeps you from ruining your plans just because someone else wants to spend like that, you have your plan. It keeps you from spending to look successful and being more generous than you can afford.
In dating it makes you less pressured to entertain a guy who seems like he can provide for you that you know is not a great fit.
It’s a privilege to take care of the one and only you. You do this by showing yourself that you value yourself enough to prioritize your wants and needs and plan to pay real money for them.
Self-care may certainly include pedicures and massages, but it also looks like doing the thing that will allow you to be able to afford more massages and pedis.
If you’re wondering what this looks like make sure you get my freebie cheat sheet! It contains the 7 practical strategies you need to get started and turn your money stress into confidence and your confusion into clarity.